Monday, February 25, 2008

Pretty soon I will have no thumb left.

I have one compulsive behavior. I have done it since... I don't know. Forever? I don't remember not doing it. I don't know why I do it. There is no pattern; I don't do it more when I'm stressed out, I don't do it more when I'm bored. I just do it. All the time. It's kind of gross too so hold on to your stomachs.

I pick at the skin around my fingernails. According to experts (science!) this isn't necessarily uncommon. I just do it without thinking about it. When I notice I'm doing it, I stop. But then like 10 minutes later I'll catch myself doing it again and be all "When did this happen?"

Sometimes I'll do it just to do it. It isn't a feeling of "Oh man I have to do this right now or I'll die" but more of a "Hey! Piece of skin! What are you doing there? I'mma getcha!" And I get it. Which makes more pieces of skin kind of loosey goosey and I'm all "You! You're next!" I do it to my lip too. It's just so satisfying sometimes. Like picking a sunburn. Only it never stops.

It's really noticeable around my thumbs. Sometimes it gets so bad that I have to hide them in band-aids and I often do it to the point of making myself bleed. I used to tell people that I had burned my hands (Oh really Danielle? Only on the outside of your thumbs? In the exact same spot on both hands? HOW INTRIGUING). Thank you for not prying if I have ever given you this excuse.

Oh man I was just doing it while I was thinking of the next sentence! HA! Ha ha ha! Ha.

Sometimes I'll see other people doing it and I'll want to hug them. It's probably not such a big deal for them and I've never seen anyone with thumbs like mine (please don't stare!) but really? We're the same, you and I! I see you chewing on your on your fingers and trying to be all sneaky about it. I DO THAT TOO. Let's be bff.

The reason why I bring this up is because I ripped the hell out of my left thumb this morning and it has never bled that much or hurt that much. At least in a long time. I am taking tiny little breaths because my thumb is on fire and pain is shooting up my arm. I had to change the band-aid because I bled through the last one. FUCKING OW.

I will be spending some time Googling to figure out how to end this madness. In the meantime you all should be excited because those kids from "Once" won the Oscar for best song in a motion picture and I love them and you should too.

1 comment:

Maya said...

me dos, dude